Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Quote by Bob Hope

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned...

Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned...

Your ignorance cramps my conversation

Your ignorance cramps my conversation

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into...

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into...

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a...

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things -...

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing...

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing...

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.