Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Quote by Bob Hope

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

I'm so old they've canceled my blood type.

I'm so old they've canceled my blood type.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the...

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the...

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

I have to much money invested in sweaters.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing...

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing...

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that...

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that...

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's...

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you...

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart...

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

The passion between the sexes has appeared in every age to be so nearly the...

The passion between the sexes has appeared in every age to be so nearly the...

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to...

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to...