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If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a...

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a...

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers...

And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers...

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time;...

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time;...

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our...

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our...

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply...

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply...

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....