What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

Quote by Dennis Miller

Topics: Dennis Miller Quotes

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

I rant, therefore I am.

I rant, therefore I am.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's...

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to...

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to...

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job...

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job...

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in...

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in...

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red...

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red...

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.