I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

Quote by Dennis Miller

Topics: Chess Quotes, Funny Quotes

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was...

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was...

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps...

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps...

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a...

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a...

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our...

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our...

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in...

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in...

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply...

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply...

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red...

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red...

Just put down 9-11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves...

Just put down 9-11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves...

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to...

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to...

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.