Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.

Quote by Dennis Miller

Topics: Dennis Miller Quotes

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job...

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job...

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

I rant, therefore I am.

I rant, therefore I am.

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps...

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Just put down 9-11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves...

Just put down 9-11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves...

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Lets be naughty and save Santa the trip.

Lets be naughty and save Santa the trip.

Heap on more wood! the wind is chill; But let it whistle as it will,...

Heap on more wood! the wind is chill; But let it whistle as it will,...

Its not the presents that make Christmas so special, its the presence of those you...

Its not the presents that make Christmas so special, its the presence of those you...

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.