If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.

Quote by Dennis Miller

Topics: Dennis Miller Quotes

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to...

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to...

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

I rant, therefore I am.

I rant, therefore I am.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's...

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's...

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps...

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps...

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a...

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a...

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time;...

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time;...

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red...

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red...

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in...

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in...