Quotes by Dennis Miller

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

#Religion

I rant, therefore I am.

#Funny

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

#Chess, #Funny

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was....

#Funny, #Jokes

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

#Hollywood

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

#Money

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

#Death

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

#Dennis Miller

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

#Dennis Miller

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was...

#Dennis Miller

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red...

#Dennis Miller

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

#Dennis Miller