Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material.

Quote by Dave Letterman

Topics: Funny Quotes, Politics Quotes

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.

The best time to make friends is before you need them. Ether Barrymore

The best time to make friends is before you need them. Ether Barrymore

The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk.

The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove...

Left hand, right hand, it doesnt matter. Im amphibious.

Left hand, right hand, it doesnt matter. Im amphibious.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am...

There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am...

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.

In every country and in every age the priest has been hostile to liberty; he...

In every country and in every age the priest has been hostile to liberty; he...

I really like to have sweet people around me. I can't stand bad asses. There's...

I really like to have sweet people around me. I can't stand bad asses. There's...

It is great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise...

It is great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise...

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

We live in an age disturbed, confused, bewildered, afraid of its own forces, in search...

We live in an age disturbed, confused, bewildered, afraid of its own forces, in search...

Do I listen to pop music because I'm miserable or am I miserable because listen...

Do I listen to pop music because I'm miserable or am I miserable because listen...

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.

On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bitches, 11...

On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bitches, 11...

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the...

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the...

Ability is of little account without opportunity.

Ability is of little account without opportunity.

The people starve because those above them eat too much tax-grain. That is the only...

The people starve because those above them eat too much tax-grain. That is the only...