God don't make no mistakes. That's how He got to be God.
Quote by Archie Bunker
Why don´t you go back to bartender´s school and take a college course in shut-up?...
I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!
You can never buy beer, you just rent it.
My friend has a baby, I am recording all the noises he makes so I...
She came onto him like a slow movin' cold front -- His beer was warmer...
Their marketing strategy had to be changed to the young people. That's who buys the...
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
It is amazing how many times the words 'I need another drink' has bailed me...
Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep...
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Put it back in the horse! [on tasting his first American beer].
Are you watching the weather channel? There's a drunk-front coming in, with a chance of...
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -...
I'm gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.
Mmmmmmm. donuts/beer/erotic cakes.
Filled with mingled cream and amber I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions...
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.