God don't make no mistakes. That's how He got to be God.

Quote by Archie Bunker

Topics: Funny Quotes, God Quotes

I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!

I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!

You can never buy beer, you just rent it.

You can never buy beer, you just rent it.

Why don´t you go back to bartender´s school and take a college course in shut-up?...

Why don´t you go back to bartender´s school and take a college course in shut-up?...

Nothing recedes like success.

Nothing recedes like success.

The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone...

The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone...

An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer...

An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer...

That awkward moment during a test and you don't know any of the answers, so...

That awkward moment during a test and you don't know any of the answers, so...

Youth is not measured by the age of a person, but by the curiosity a...

Youth is not measured by the age of a person, but by the curiosity a...

The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend...

The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend...

I went on a children's roller coaster once when I was maybe 12-or some age...

I went on a children's roller coaster once when I was maybe 12-or some age...

There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.

There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.

Trying to sneak a fastball past Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sunrise...

Trying to sneak a fastball past Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sunrise...

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it...

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it...

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out...

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out...

The good writing of any age has always been the product of someone's neurosis.

The good writing of any age has always been the product of someone's neurosis.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but...

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but...

We are all geniuses up to the age of ten.

We are all geniuses up to the age of ten.

Old age is not a joy, but death is not a gain.

Old age is not a joy, but death is not a gain.

But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my...

But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my...