Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Quote by Robert Benchley

Topics: Funny Quotes

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but...

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but...

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for...

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for...

The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or...

The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or...

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back...

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back...

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is...

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is...

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...

The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or...

The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or...

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to...

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to...