Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Quote by Robert Benchley

Topics: Funny Quotes

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that...

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that...

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a...

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a...

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have...

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have...

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but...

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to...

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to...

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I...

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

There is something about saying Ok and hanging up the receiver with a bang that...

There is something about saying Ok and hanging up the receiver with a bang that...

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to...

A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to...

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.