Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Quote by Robert Benchley

Topics: Funny Quotes

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed...

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left...

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to...

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to...

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But...

Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But...

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?