Warning: Humor may be hazardous to your illness...

Quote by Ellie Katz

Topics: Funny Quotes, Get Well Quotes

Warning: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.

Warning: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

If your attack is going too well, youre walking into an ambush.

If your attack is going too well, youre walking into an ambush.

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

Classical music is the kind that we keep hoping will turn into a tune.

Classical music is the kind that we keep hoping will turn into a tune.

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk...

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk...

Hollywood is a place where a man can get stabbed in the back while climbing...

Hollywood is a place where a man can get stabbed in the back while climbing...

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Compatible: Your money fits in the salesperson's wallet.

Compatible: Your money fits in the salesperson's wallet.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age...

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age...

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over...

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over...

Genius is present in every age, but the men carrying it within them remain benumbed...

Genius is present in every age, but the men carrying it within them remain benumbed...

I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation...

I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation...

Not just in commerce but in the world of ideas too our age is putting...

Not just in commerce but in the world of ideas too our age is putting...

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good.

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good.

I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never...

I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never...

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

I reckon being ill as one of the great pleasures of life, provided one is...

I reckon being ill as one of the great pleasures of life, provided one is...