Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.

Quote by Eddie Izzard

Topics: Eddie Izzard Quotes

So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain...

So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain...

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught...

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught...

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of...

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of...

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

So my choice is 'Or Death?

So my choice is 'Or Death?

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

I'm a one-man idiot.

I'm a one-man idiot.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

Comedy is very controlling - you are making people laugh. It is there in the...

Comedy is very controlling - you are making people laugh. It is there in the...

Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get...

Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get...

Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.

Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.

I'm no syllogism incarnate, but my wife makes me look like Immanuel Kant.

I'm no syllogism incarnate, but my wife makes me look like Immanuel Kant.