They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

Quote by Eddie Izzard

Topics: Eddie Izzard Quotes

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; its a sort of detective...

We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; its a sort of detective...

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

So my choice is 'Or Death?

So my choice is 'Or Death?

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught...

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught...

I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, Oh, my God! What...

I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, Oh, my God! What...

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

I'm a one-man idiot.

I'm a one-man idiot.

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of...

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of...

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Never put a sock in a toaster.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music...

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music...