So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!

Quote by Eddie Izzard

Topics: Eddie Izzard Quotes

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; its a sort of detective...

We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; its a sort of detective...

I'm a one-man idiot.

I'm a one-man idiot.

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of...

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of...

Never put a sock in a toaster.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain...

So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain...

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music...

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music...

So my choice is 'Or Death?

So my choice is 'Or Death?

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the...

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the...

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex