Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: Sex Quotes

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if...

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if...

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your...

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your...

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive...

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive...

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or...

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.

It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.