Quotes about Joan Rivers

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For...

#Joan Rivers

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

#Joan Rivers

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

#Joan Rivers

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world...

#Joan Rivers

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

#Joan Rivers

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the...

#Joan Rivers

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

#Joan Rivers

It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.

#Joan Rivers

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

#Joan Rivers

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

#Joan Rivers

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

#Joan Rivers

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

#Joan Rivers