Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap the keg.

Quote by Homer Simpson

Topics: Humor Quotes, Life Quotes

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had...

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had...

Stupid risks make life worth living.

Stupid risks make life worth living.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake...

No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake...

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems

Don't worry honey, daddy will fix that broken animal.

Don't worry honey, daddy will fix that broken animal.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.

Once the sun goes down, all the weirdos turn crazy!

Once the sun goes down, all the weirdos turn crazy!

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

This is a place for learning, not a house of... hearing about things.

This is a place for learning, not a house of... hearing about things.

I'm gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.

I'm gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman.

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman.

Age is like love, it cannot be hid.

Age is like love, it cannot be hid.

There is so much more than that little space from 14 to 40. And if...

There is so much more than that little space from 14 to 40. And if...

When you're too religious, you tend to point your finger to judge instead of extending...

When you're too religious, you tend to point your finger to judge instead of extending...