Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Killing Quotes

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare.

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of...

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what...

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group...

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group...

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...