You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym!

Quote by Eddie Izzard

Topics: Eddie Izzard Quotes

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; its a sort of detective...

We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; its a sort of detective...

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

I'm a one-man idiot.

I'm a one-man idiot.

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, Oh, my God! What...

I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, Oh, my God! What...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

So my choice is 'Or Death?

So my choice is 'Or Death?

Never put a sock in a toaster.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music...

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain...

So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Dinosaur fossils? God put those there to test our faith." Thank God I'm strapped in...

Dinosaur fossils? God put those there to test our faith.

Well, I'd say that the minute sound came in, it was everybody talking their heads...

Well, I'd say that the minute sound came in, it was everybody talking their heads...

The failure of the past philosophers is largely the failure to see the self-evident.

The failure of the past philosophers is largely the failure to see the self-evident.