So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for fuck all! Yes, all they did was slowly…

Quote by Eddie Izzard

Topics: Famous Quotes

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of...

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of...

I'm a one-man idiot.

I'm a one-man idiot.

So my choice is 'Or Death?

So my choice is 'Or Death?

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music...

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music...

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught...

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught...

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, Oh, my God! What...

I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, Oh, my God! What...

We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; its a sort of detective...

We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; its a sort of detective...

Never put a sock in a toaster.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...