So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for fuck all! Yes, all they did was slowly…

Quote by Eddie Izzard

Topics: Famous Quotes

I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, Oh, my God! What...

I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, Oh, my God! What...

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

[Mock singing] And shall my sword sleep in my hand [Speaking] NOT a good idea,...

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught...

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught...

I'm a one-man idiot.

I'm a one-man idiot.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; its a sort of detective...

We have archeology on television, and I quite like it; its a sort of detective...

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music...

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music...

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

So my choice is 'Or Death?

So my choice is 'Or Death?

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

There is no greater breach of the public trust than knowingly misleading the country into...

There is no greater breach of the public trust than knowingly misleading the country into...

War is what happens when language fails

War is what happens when language fails

Wars will remain while human nature remains. I believe in my soul in cooperation, in...

Wars will remain while human nature remains. I believe in my soul in cooperation, in...