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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

In the age of information ignorance is a choice.

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In the age of information ignorance is a choice.

Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

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Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.

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Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.

Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from...

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Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from...

Love is no respecter of age or practicality Neither morality: unabashed She enters where she...

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Love is no respecter of age or practicality Neither morality: unabashed She enters where she...

Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.

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Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.

Age ain't nothing but a number when it comes to loving someone.

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Age ain't nothing but a number when it comes to loving someone.

Youth can not know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if...

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Youth can not know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if...

Be equal to your talent, not your age. At times let the gap between them...

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Be equal to your talent, not your age. At times let the gap between them...

Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you...

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Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you...

When people tell you how young you look, they are telling you how old you...

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When people tell you how young you look, they are telling you how old you...

Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul

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Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul

I can always make you smile

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I can always make you smile

Ability is : When you can make three generations of people laugh their socks off...

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Ability is : When you can make three generations of people laugh their socks off...

He jests at scars, that never felt a wound

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He jests at scars, that never felt a wound