Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Quote by John Barrymore

Topics: Causes Quotes, Funny Quotes, Funny Sayings Quotes, Sex Quotes

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of...

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of...

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing...

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing...

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was...

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was...

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run.

You can only be as good as you dare to be bad.

You can only be as good as you dare to be bad.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one...

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one...

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives...

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives...

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone;...

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone;...

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me...

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me...

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got...

The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got...

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little...

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little...

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother,...

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother,...