The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: Joan Rivers Quotes

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were...

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.

It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.

Don't talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Don't talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put...

You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to...

You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to...

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or...

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or...

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later...

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later...

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

He who limps is still walking.

He who limps is still walking.

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For...

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For...

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.