Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

Quote by Drew Carey

Topics: Hate Quotes, Love Quotes, Mystery Quotes

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I...

I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I...

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what...

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what...

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what...

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what...

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with...

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with...

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!

That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever....

That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever....

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if...

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if...

What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.

What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look...

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look...

Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.

Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can...

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can...

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.

It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

There's no such thing as old age, there is only sorrow.

There's no such thing as old age, there is only sorrow.

Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature.

Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature.

The greatest problem about old age is the fear that it may go on too...

The greatest problem about old age is the fear that it may go on too...

The orgasm has replaced the cross as the focus of longing and fulfillment

The orgasm has replaced the cross as the focus of longing and fulfillment