I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Libraries Quotes

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

Religion is just mind control.

Religion is just mind control.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for...

The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for...

The purpose of church is that we might learn to love unconditionally those we wouldn't...

The purpose of church is that we might learn to love unconditionally those we wouldn't...

Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church, and the private school,...

Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church, and the private school,...

Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was...

Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was...

Each nation feels superior to other nations. That breeds patriotism - and wars.

Each nation feels superior to other nations. That breeds patriotism - and wars.

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...