I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Suicide Quotes

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

Always do whatever's next.

Always do whatever's next.

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to...

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

When I was younger, my family would go camping and fishing on our ranches. My...

When I was younger, my family would go camping and fishing on our ranches. My...

I cant wait for summer! Yeah buddy...floating, camping and drinking beer on a hot summer...

I cant wait for summer! Yeah buddy...floating, camping and drinking beer on a hot summer...

You need white friends that invite you to go camping, kayaking and to watch solar...

You need white friends that invite you to go camping, kayaking and to watch solar...

The people who live in a golden age usually go around complaining how yellow everything...

The people who live in a golden age usually go around complaining how yellow everything...

(On sleep) Is it just the interval of life rudely interrupted by the static of...

(On sleep) Is it just the interval of life rudely interrupted by the static of...