You're only as good as your last haircut.

Quote by Fran Lebowitz

Topics: Funny Quotes

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of...

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of...

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when...

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when...

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it...

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it...

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make...

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make...

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because...

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because...

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him...

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him...

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your...

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your...

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any...

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any...

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when...

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when...

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be...

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be...

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my...

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my...

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you...

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you...

Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like...

Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like...

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these...

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these...