Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Quote by Fran Lebowitz

Topics: Fran Lebowitz Quotes

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be...

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be...

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when...

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when...

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you...

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you...

Polite conversation is rarely either.

Polite conversation is rarely either.

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these...

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these...

Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.

Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.

My favorite animal is steak.

My favorite animal is steak.

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to...

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to...

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make...

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make...

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he...

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he...

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him...

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him...

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women,...

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women,...

You're only as good as your last haircut.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

Nothing succeeds like address.

Nothing succeeds like address.

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...