I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height…

Quote by Larry David

Topics: Larry David Quotes

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with...

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how youre feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how youre feeling, it becomes funny.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about...

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about...

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I...

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I...

Drugs scared me.

Drugs scared me.

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that...

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that...

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That...

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man...

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man...

You write about what you know.

You write about what you know.