There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out.

Quote by Larry David

Topics: Larry David Quotes

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

You write about what you know.

You write about what you know.

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline...

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline...

I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network...

I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network...

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man...

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man...

I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want,...

I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want,...

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to...

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to...

The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for...

The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for...

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that...

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that...

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.