Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.

Quote by Larry David

Topics: Larry David Quotes

The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for...

The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for...

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline...

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline...

I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want,...

I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want,...

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That...

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That...

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I...

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I...

Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.

Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home...

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home...

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with...

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with...

If you tell the truth about how youre feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how youre feeling, it becomes funny.

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network...

I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network...

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't...

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.