There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out.

Quote by Larry David

Topics: Larry David Quotes

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline...

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline...

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but...

And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but...

Drugs scared me.

Drugs scared me.

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home...

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home...

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

If you tell the truth about how youre feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how youre feeling, it becomes funny.

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,...

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,...

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the...

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the...

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want,...

I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want,...

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about...

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about...