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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty

At my age flowers scare me.

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At my age flowers scare me.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

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It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when...

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.

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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

People are always asking me when Im going to retire. Why should I? Ive got...

People are always asking me when Im going to retire. Why should I? Ive got...

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...