People are always asking me when Im going to retire. Why should I? Ive got it two ways - Im still making movies, and Im a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.

Quote by George F Burns

Topics: People Quotes

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when...

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when...

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I...

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

At my age flowers scare me.

At my age flowers scare me.

Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.

Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but...

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but...

Children are more influenced by sermons you act than by sermons you preach.

Children are more influenced by sermons you act than by sermons you preach.

That is not the best sermon which makes the hearers go away talking to one...

That is not the best sermon which makes the hearers go away talking to one...