People are always asking me when Im going to retire. Why should I? Ive got it two ways - Im still making movies, and Im a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.

Quote by George F Burns

Topics: People Quotes

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when...

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when...

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

At my age flowers scare me.

At my age flowers scare me.

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and...

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and...

When a child is learning to write, it is extremely easy for it to hold...

When a child is learning to write, it is extremely easy for it to hold...

The more we try to catch hold of the present moment the more elusive it...

The more we try to catch hold of the present moment the more elusive it...

These times of ours are serious and full of calamity, but all times are essentially...

These times of ours are serious and full of calamity, but all times are essentially...