Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Quote by George F Burns

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when...

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when...

At my age flowers scare me.

At my age flowers scare me.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I...

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

People are always asking me when Im going to retire. Why should I? Ive got...

People are always asking me when Im going to retire. Why should I? Ive got...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.

Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I want all hellions to quit puffing that hell fume in God's clean air.

I want all hellions to quit puffing that hell fume in God's clean air.

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the...

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the...

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.