At my age flowers scare me.

Quote by George F Burns

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I...

Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.

Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when...

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

People are always asking me when Im going to retire. Why should I? Ive got...

People are always asking me when Im going to retire. Why should I? Ive got...

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

But there are certain very practical things American Negro writers can do. And must do....

But there are certain very practical things American Negro writers can do. And must do....

The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything.

The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything.

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend