At my age flowers scare me.

Quote by George F Burns

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.

Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only...

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

People are always asking me when Im going to retire. Why should I? Ive got...

People are always asking me when Im going to retire. Why should I? Ive got...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have...

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold...

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I...

I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I...

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when...

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good...

That is not the best sermon which makes the hearers go away talking to one...

That is not the best sermon which makes the hearers go away talking to one...

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but...

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but...

A good sermon is an engineering operation by which a chasm is bridged so that...

A good sermon is an engineering operation by which a chasm is bridged so that...