Quotes by George Carlin

When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...

#George Carlin

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters...

#George Carlin

Think off-center.

#George Carlin

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

#George Carlin

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

#George Carlin

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

#George Carlin

The status quo sucks.

#George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I...

#George Carlin

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...

#George Carlin

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

#Addiction

The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

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When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

#Animals, #Children, #Death And Dying