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The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an...

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an...

Middle Age - Later than you think and sooner than you expect.

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Middle Age - Later than you think and sooner than you expect.

For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown...

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For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown...

Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call...

Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call...

Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.

He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.

He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.

He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of...

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of...

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.

Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in...

Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in...

Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be...

Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be...

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

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Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

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A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.