Quotes by Dave Barry

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and...

#Dave Barry

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

#Dave Barry

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that...

#Dave Barry

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

#Dave Barry

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

#Dave Barry

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

#Dave Barry

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

#Dave Barry

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

#Dave Barry

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there...

#Dave Barry

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

#Dave Barry

What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute...

#Dave Barry

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

#Dave Barry