If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Golf Quotes, Sports Quotes

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to...

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to...

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than...

Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

The problem with winter sports is that, follow me closely here, they generally take place...

The problem with winter sports is that, follow me closely here, they generally take place...

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and...

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

A film is never really any good unless the camera is an eye in the...

A film is never really any good unless the camera is an eye in the...

I want to be alone.

I want to be alone.

You can't have Gomer Pyle any more driving a race car, Those days are over....

You can't have Gomer Pyle any more driving a race car, Those days are over....