Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: History Quotes, Humor Quotes, Inventions Quotes, Mankind Quotes

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally...

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally...

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around...

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong...

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong...

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take...

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take...

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about...

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about...

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to...

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to...

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks...

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks...

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

Those who best know human nature will acknowledge most fully what a strength light hearted...

Those who best know human nature will acknowledge most fully what a strength light hearted...

Real education should consist of drawing the goodness and the best out of our own...

Real education should consist of drawing the goodness and the best out of our own...