Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: History Quotes, Humor Quotes, Inventions Quotes, Mankind Quotes

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up...

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those...

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those...

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child...

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child...

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is...

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into...

My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into...

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

The problem with winter sports is that, follow me closely here, they generally take place...

The problem with winter sports is that, follow me closely here, they generally take place...

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

After sleeping through a hundred million centuries we have finally opened our eyes on a...

After sleeping through a hundred million centuries we have finally opened our eyes on a...

What is art? Nature concentrated.

What is art? Nature concentrated.