Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary to what you may have heard, the Internet does not operate at the speed of light;…

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Internet Quotes

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking....

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking....

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages

A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who...

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who...

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally...

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally...

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he...

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he...

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by...

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by...

What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute...

What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute...

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per...

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per...