Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Funny Quotes, Internet Quotes, Television Quotes

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking....

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking....

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

Talking about golf is always boring. (Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part...

Talking about golf is always boring. (Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part...

I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place....

I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place....

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I...

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I...

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish...

Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a...

Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a...

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is...

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is...

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This...

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...