Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Funny Quotes, Internet Quotes, Television Quotes

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he...

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he...

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can...

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from...

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

New York Taxi Rules: 1. Driver speaks no English. 2. Driver just got here two...

New York Taxi Rules: 1. Driver speaks no English. 2. Driver just got here two...

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are...

I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are...

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be...

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be...

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and...

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and...

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye...

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye...

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not...

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

You need white friends that invite you to go camping, kayaking and to watch solar...

You need white friends that invite you to go camping, kayaking and to watch solar...

She had the loaded handbag of someone who camps out and seldom goes home, or...

She had the loaded handbag of someone who camps out and seldom goes home, or...