What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on…

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Internet Quotes

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and...

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally...

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is...

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is...

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...