She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: Joan Rivers Quotes

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or...

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or...

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were...

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were...

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is...

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is...

Don't talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Don't talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through...

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through...

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to...

You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to...

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

Always and Forever

Always and Forever

We thought it might be fun to have twins.

We thought it might be fun to have twins.

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins.

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins.