People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

Quote by Russell Baker

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Television Quotes

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those...

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those...

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except...

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except...

Americans like fat books and thin women.

Americans like fat books and thin women.

In America nothing dies easier than tradition.

In America nothing dies easier than tradition.

Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it.

Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it.

Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.

Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a...

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a...

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most...

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most...

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really...

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really...

Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when...

Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when...

I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began...

I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began...

You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.

You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.

When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and...

When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and...

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is...

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is...

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to...

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to...

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion...

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion...

Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure...

Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure...

Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that...

Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that...

Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the...

Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the...