People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want to be funny. I'm a comedian, not a political thinker. We're changing the world one factual error at a time.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Facts Quotes

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

As God said to Job, Checkmate

As God said to Job, Checkmate

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Black are the brooding clouds and troubled the deep waters, when the Sea of Thought,...

Black are the brooding clouds and troubled the deep waters, when the Sea of Thought,...

Wearing a hoodie and shorts because youre confused about the weather.

Wearing a hoodie and shorts because youre confused about the weather.

Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is...

Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is...