A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday.

Quote by Russell Baker

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Television Quotes

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those...

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those...

I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began...

I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began...

Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that...

Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that...

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do...

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do...

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion...

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion...

Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when...

Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when...

Ireland really is my problem; the breaking point of the huge suppuration which all British...

Ireland really is my problem; the breaking point of the huge suppuration which all British...

Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.

Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is...

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is...

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and...

When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and...

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have...

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have...

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most...

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most...

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a...

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a...

The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.

The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.

Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on canned laughter grafted by gaglines by...

Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on canned laughter grafted by gaglines by...

Laughter on American television has taken the place of the chorus in Greek tragedy. In...

Laughter on American television has taken the place of the chorus in Greek tragedy. In...

Laughter is a powerful way to tap positive emotions.

Laughter is a powerful way to tap positive emotions.

Uncontrollable laughter arose among the blessed gods.

Uncontrollable laughter arose among the blessed gods.