A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday.

Quote by Russell Baker

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Television Quotes

I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began...

I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began...

The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.

The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.

Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when...

Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when...

Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the...

Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the...

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have...

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have...

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not...

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not...

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to...

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to...

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most...

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most...

Americans like fat books and thin women.

Americans like fat books and thin women.

You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.

You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.

Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.

Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.

Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.

Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.

Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure...

Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure...

Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on canned laughter grafted by gaglines by...

Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on canned laughter grafted by gaglines by...

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except...

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except...

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do...

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do...

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops.

A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops.