You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.

Quote by Dennis Miller

Topics: Dennis Miller Quotes

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job...

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job...

I rant, therefore I am.

I rant, therefore I am.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a...

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a...

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

I lapsed into rude.

I lapsed into rude.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps...

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps...

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was....

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was....

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The science is in. The facts are there that we have created, man has, a...

The science is in. The facts are there that we have created, man has, a...

America has not led but fled on the issue of global warming.

America has not led but fled on the issue of global warming.