The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

Quote by Dennis Miller

Topics: Funny Quotes, Work Quotes

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second...

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was....

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was....

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was...

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was...

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out...

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to...

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to...

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.