The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

Quote by Dennis Miller

Topics: Funny Quotes, Work Quotes

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was...

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was...

I lapsed into rude.

I lapsed into rude.

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in...

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in...

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our...

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our...

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

Just put down 9-11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves...

Just put down 9-11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves...

I rant, therefore I am.

I rant, therefore I am.

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job...

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that...

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that...

Christmas will always be as long as we stand heart to heart and hand in...

Christmas will always be as long as we stand heart to heart and hand in...

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.